It sounds strange to say, but one of the funniest nude experiences I’ve had was during a very routine hospital visit. I won’t say where as I’m sure plenty of rules were violated that day and I really don’t want anyone to get into trouble as I had absolutely no problem with any of it, but it was certainly weird!

Quite a few years ago I decided to have a vasectomy. I had done all the GP consultations needed to get the appointment, and then the day of the procedure arrived. After the usual waiting around in the reception area I was called into the surgical department where they explained what they were going to do. It would be under local anaesthetic so I would be awake throughout, and I could leave immediately afterwards, although I could not drive for a week. This was nothing I had not already known so I signed the forms and we were off.

A nurse came in and took me to a changing area that looked a bit like one of those cubicles in shops where you try on clothes with a curtain for a door and a hook to hang up your stuff. And that was when things started to get a bit… unusual. Because after she told me to take off my clothes and change into one of those hospital gowns that fasten at the back, she stood at the open doorway to the cubicle and carried on talking to me as I undressed.
Obviously this didn’t bother me at all, firstly because I’m me, and secondly because I assumed she would be part of the team operating on me in a few minutes anyway. But it did strike me as a bit unusual. Nevertheless I got undressed and put on the gown provided.

At least I say “put on”, but the thing was about five sizes too small and there was no way it would ever close up at the back to hide anything. I mentioned this to the nurse, but she said not to bother about it as I wouldn’t be wearing it for long anyway. And then the strangeness kicked up a gear because she said “Follow me,” then proceeded to lead me on a walk around what felt like half the hospital.

We passed staff at their workstations, porters transporting boxes, and even a few patients, all of whom got a very good view of my arse as we walked past. The nurse carried on talking about all sorts of things occasionally stopping to briefly chat to someone we met. This was all pretty strange and nothing like any other hospital experience I’d had, but I just went along with it as the lack of rear covering certainly didn’t bother me and I assumed that if it became a problem for anyone else they would say something.

We eventually went into a room that looked more like an office than anywhere medical. The nurse sat down behind a desk and started to click around on a computer, then she told me to take off the gown, indicating a hook on the wall where I could hang it. So after a quick check to make sure that was what she meant (because this all still felt strange) I stripped off and hung up the gown.

So there I was, completely naked in a hospital office whilst the nurse checked what I assume were my notes on the computer. I stood there for a few moments assuming she was just waiting for the theatre to be ready for me when she stood up, opened the door behind her, and said “Right, follow me.”

I’m not sure what I thought would happen next or where our next stop would be, but I certainly didn’t expect for us to start walking round the hospital again whilst I was naked. We headed down a short corridor past a few occupied offices, then into what looked like the end of one of the wards. There were more staff there – nurses, admin, porters – all just getting on with their jobs. A few of them said hello as we passed, but most just behaved as if a naked patient walking through the building was something they saw every day. All the while the nurse was talking about anything and everything, from the weather to what she had seen on TV, and I just went along with it because it didn’t bother me at all and I still assumed that if someone else thought it was weird they would say something or give me something to cover up. But as they all just treated it as normal, I did the same.

We eventually reached the theatre and she handed me over to the team there, then she left and I never saw her again. I did wonder about asking them if any of that naked wandering was in any way normal, but these people were a lot more focussed and were getting on with the actual process in hand immediately. Within moments they had got me on the bed, checked my details, injected the anaesthetic, and once that was working they began the procedure.

When it was finished they helped me off the bed, then after checking I was okay they told me to go out through a door opposite the one where I had come in, and someone would be there to help me sort myself out. So still naked I went out that way… and right in front of me no more than 5 metres from the door was the cubicle where I had first got undressed and where my clothes still hung where I had left them, with a different nurse waiting to help me get dressed. I had apparently gone full circle round the hospital, mostly with me naked.

For a moment I gave serious consideration to just staying naked and going home like that as the hospital clearly wasn’t bothered by lack of clothes. But I did get dressed – carefully as things were a bit sore, and after a few minutes I was outside and being driven home.

That was a very surreal and funny experience and I’ve told many people about it over the years. But what on earth was going on? I have been in hospital several times and never before or since have they ever wanted me to walk around the building naked. In fact they usually do everything possible to discourage it. I’m pretty sure I’ll never know what that was really all about, and it will always have to be just a funny story about “the day I walked naked around the hospital and no-one was even slightly surprised”.

It did have one useful side effect though: I was so relaxed by all the naked walking that I forgot to get nervous about the operation.